August 18, 2009

The Vain Motorcyclist

By Andre Harris

Why do we ride? A recent magazine editor says we love the machinery but we ride for the freedom (paraphrasing). Others say we ride to help us commune with nature; some say it’s the escape, and yet others say we ride to get chicks (?). I tend to think that the latter may be closer to the truth…

Why else would we spend so much on matching leathers, gloves, and helmet. It’s possible to spend hundreds of dollars less for a new helmet if we opt for the solid—albeit, bland—colour scheme instead of the flaming dragon with arrows dangling from its talons, or to copy the current racer’s paint scheme.

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines “Image” as : a mental picture or impression of something.

I must admit, that’s a nice jacket…..

We have an image of how we want others to see us. We want to look the part of that bad boy, the racer boy, the rebel girl, (insert your alter ego here) and we choose the equipment to help us play the part … and the image is oh so important.

Yes, the motorcyclist is a vain creature. We have a mental image of who we are and how we want to be recognized. I used to laugh at my friends who had all the latest gear and his/hers matching mud flags on the matching Jacuzzi trailered behind matching land yachts towed behind their matching mini vans… they’re missing the point!

The true motorcyclist has been riding so long that nothing matches! My new Zeus helmet is a modular full-face with a cool flip-up chin piece and fighter pilot sun visor and it’s blue and white; my jacket is a stylish (in my opinion) sport style jacket with more cooling vents than a downtown rave and it’s red, white and black; my gloves are old school (no bling on the knuckles) and they are black and grey with red accents; my boots are circa 1978 with enough duct tape on them to secure the space shuttle booster to the launch pad and they were brown (now duct tape grey); my glasses are not Oakley, they’re CT specials (and I love them); my rain suit is a  remnant of the early nineties when someone thought that pink, purple and green were acceptable combinations for, not only your mother’s kitchen, but also for a sport MC! Go figure. I wouldn’t part with any of it until it became a hazard to my safety (helmets should be replaced every 5 years.).

Red Green would be proud.

Quite an eclectic look, for sure … but it was mine and I loved each component of the ensemble equally. I don’t care what it looks like, partly because I didn’t have to look at myself and see the collage of decades of marketing efforts gone astray. I was not like the others. I was an individual. I was my own man. I was not to be swayed by the opinions of others. The messed up afro, the 10W-40 on my sleeve from the last oil change, the remnants of the June bug that almost knocked me backwards off the bike at 100 km/h and remained as a warning to other bugs…. “Beware Mad Max wanna be resides here.” It all created an image.

Now as the years have passed, I still cling to my rebel persona, but I’m not so sure I can handle the comments about my receding hairline. I was doing okay until I heard for the thousandth time … “André, I like your blogs, but that picture has got to go. You look like crap!” “What happened to you … you get hit by a truck?” “Your hair looks like that guy on late night TV… he has a family business…” Don’t know who they’re talking about, but I bet it’s not very flattering.

This pic used in my profile has got to go! Please look below and help me select a new portrait….

It seems that I too am vain. Maybe not about my choice of apparel, but I do want to look the part … bad boy that doesn’t care what his gear looks like as long as he’s riding his Yamaha FJR1300 or R1, but image is important. 

So … I need your help. Let’s start a contest and choose a suitable new profile picture for me. A make-over if you like.

Be kind. I promise I’ll post the picture with the most votes. Feel free to create a caricature if you don’t like the options offered here. Here are some suitable options:

So, which one best suits the bad boy, unruly image that I’m going for? Be sure to comment and let us know! Thanks!

Andre

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6 Responses to “The Vain Motorcyclist”

1. Torch says:
   

   I’d suggest the first or third photo….

   Ride on,
   Torch

   August 20th, 2009 at 7:39 am
2. Bro says:
   

   I think the first photo captures the “bad boy” image you’re looking for, but of course that’s just part of the Andre Harris mystique or persona. Those who know you have experienced the multiple facets of your complex character. Still, for the purposes of this forum, the first shot wins. The second is flattering but illustrates your subconscious panic of losing your hair (that photo was doctored, right?). The third while capturing the true essence of why we ride does not impart a “bad boy” quality. That picture says, “Yah, I want to go for a ride…” or, “ahhh…this is why I ride…”.

   The fourth photo looks like a photo shoot, somewhat staged. I know it’s a distance version of the first, but since it’s black and white, well…it feels staged anyway. The fifth… umm… beige pants? A “bad boy” in beige pants? Might as well trade them in for Dockers. Need I say more? Now as far as submitting my own photos… oh the damage we could do. You are indeed brave to willingly request submissions of historic Andre Harris moments captured by the likes of your acquaintances. Perhaps I should post that shot of you… that summer we all went camping … and cliff diving at … or the time we went to Loudon Race track in New Hampshire and you … but no, the public is not ready for that.
   I vote for the 1st picture.

   Dear Wayne,
   Thank you for reading my blog and submitting your vote for my new profile picture. Now, I know I said I was willing to accept votes for pictures submitted by readers, but I think you have an unfair advantage… Living under the same roof for 25 years you have access to a warehouse full of pictures, not all of them as flattering as the ones I posted and know you still hold a grudge to this day because Mom and Dad let me get a MC and not you, (not to mention Rachel liked me better than you, that really bugged you). Thinking you may not have my best interest at heart when selecting a new profile picture. So, I will limit your selection to the 5 posted on the blog.

   Thanks, André
   
   PS
   I came in 3rd from a field of riders on factory equipment that race in Loudon. That would be a good profile picture. Thanks for reminding me.

   August 21st, 2009 at 11:13 am
3. Pat Norris says:
   

   Andre, you look great in any picture, but I definitely like # 1, it shows the true “racer” spirit you have.

   September 26th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
4. James Strachan says:
   

   Hi Andre,
   Thought I’d try tracking down this am and offer a sincere thanks for the effort you and the other guys (and Sharon) put in last weekend up at the Humber M/C course. I was pretty disappointed at having not passed the exit test and should have at at least stuck around to do that much. Mama gave me better manners than that.

   Thats a very tightly run course but still a lot of fun and you are guys are to be commended for that. “You’se” had nothing to do with my result. Hope Lynn as the other old guy got through as well as the ladies.

   I am going to take the retest either this coming weekend or next depending on my work sked. No quit in this ol’ dog (yet)so if I dont see you there, thanks for the gentle let down. I tried finding a corp e-mail for you but this blog (cept. Lidekin) was all I could scratch up. Hope you don’t mind.

   Have a great summer – I won’t weigh in the pic issue – save to agree the existing one doesn’t capture your best side!!!

   Regards,
   Jim

   Hi Jim,
   So glad you tracked me down. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from you, and yes, it was a disappointment to lose you during the testing section of the Humber MC course this past weekend.

   You were exactly the type of student I was talking about when I said “No test is Perfect…” some good students are not successful and some less qualified students make it through… The M.O.S.T. (Motorcycle Operators Skills Test) is designed to evaluate an applicant’s ability to operator a MC safely and relies on something called “Psychometric Requirements: Validity and Reliability”,(not sure what it means, less be able to say it). It was incorporated in to the M.O.S.T. to try and ensure that we can trust the results of the test…

   There are certain sections in the test where the examiner is marking for a particular ability, or lack of it. It was by chance that you did the wrong things at the wrong times (times I was marking for those skills). You rode very well otherwise. I don’t have a concern about your results when you do a re-test.

   I kept my “Mean Tester Hat” on after the test and gave everyone that passed a lecture on safety and how they should consider this pass more as a license to learn, than anything else.

   and oh ya, Thanks for reminding me about the picture… and the winner is ….
   

   Dre

   June 14th, 2010 at 8:06 am
5. Jim Strachan says:
   

   Thanks for the comments, and encouragement Andre. I’ve ran that first section of the test that I pooched so badly yesterday through my mind a lot afterward and you know, I was so focused on not hitting that inner line on the outside of the apex that I watched the front wheel with my head down and tried to “aim” it thru. What did you guys hammer us with all weekend?? …”look up and ahead thru the turn” and the bike will follow the right line. Yeah I missed the shift trying to hurry it down (and lost time, did the same stupid thing on the return back thru but really, I think the wheels just fell off after that first simple brain fart. Got a bigger hammer???

   Anyway…only my ego has a bit of a dent in it right now – better that than a dent in a bike, me or worse…somebody else, and these things have a tendency to work out better after overcoming a bit of adversity is overcome. Sounds like pop-psych crap but generally true I think. I dig the “licence to learn” concept btw.

   Pic is better (so I lied about not weighing in) and as you likely noted…my feathers in back are likewise suffering the same follicle disappearing act. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for ball caps and, now again for me after 30 years or so, M/C helmets!!!

   Tough office wear tho’ There’s that adversity theme again. Cheers mate…perhaps I’ll see you at a show or something. I’ll show you my “M2″

   I think learning to ride a bike holds many metaphors for life… “Look where you want to go and the bike will follow…” Visualize your goal and it will materialize…” Look after the little things and the big ones will look after themselves…” “Keep your bike clean and the women will flock to you…” Hey… I think there’s another blog here.

   I’ll call it the “Pop-psych, Metaphysical, Existential Motorcyclist.” lol

   Thanks for reading the blog Jim, stay tuned …

   PS. I won’t say, “Good luck”, on your retest… You don’t need it.

   June 14th, 2010 at 11:57 pm
6. James Strachan says:
   

   Got it on the 2nd try on the 27th – in a torrential downpour, with optional lightning. They were going to cancel but 12 of the 13 first time dropouts there said “forget it…we’re already soaked…there’s lots of tall(ish) metal objects around…we CAN do this and we WANT to do this!!! That’s motorcyclists for ya’…seemingly “we” keep a foot, or toe anyway, just a bit off centre!!!

   Good luck with the new model and again, thanks for the support.

   Cheers, Jim

   July 2nd, 2010 at 3:17 pm

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